Learn to Drive

Posted in road rage on January 13, 2010 by chipmcgee

At the exit for my home when you get off there is a crosswalk and if someone is in the crosswalk you have to stop, but we do NOT have a stop or even a yield sign. This is because where the exit meets the road there starts a new lane. So all you need to do is continue on in your own lane.

But despite the fact that no one is in that lane or could be coming into that lane people insist on stopping there and waiting for a break in traffic in a lane with NO ONE IN IT!!!!!! (Getting annoyed just thinking about it)

How fucking hard is driving that so many people around the world take lessons and tests and still can not understand some simple concepts.

When merging cars can not be side by side and once the lanes merge you should be letting the car that is ahead in.

When changing lanes USE YOUR FUCKING MIRRORS!!!!! I drive drunk so if you change lanes suddenly I will never have time to get out of the way, ok I do not drink and drive EVER but maybe the person you are cutting of does. Do not expect the people around you to be paying attention you have to do it yourself.

After using your mirrors before changing lanes give a quick turn of your head to see if a car is in your blind spot. It’s called a blind spot because you can not see it in the mirror.

THEY ARE CALLED TURNING SIGNALS… HMMM I WUNDER WHAT THEY ARE FOR??? (Fucking idiots)

You can flash your headlights at me all you want I am not moving over until after I pass the giant fucking truck in the lane next to me. I am sorry but my car will not fit under a truck, if you want to get passed me that bad maybe you should try the under the truck trick.

Oh and to you guys on motorcycles that always blame cars for their accidents, maybe you should not be going 100mpg and trying to blast between me and a car in the lane next to me. And if you are weaving in and out of traffic going fast remember, I look and them move if you were not there when I look I assume there will be no one there when I move…BAM you are dead not me.

When getting on the highway that long lane you are in is called an acceleration lane. This is so you can go from street traffic speeds to highway speeds before you pull out into traffic. If you pull in front of someone who is going 75 MPH and you are going 35 MPH see what I say about changing lanes 5 paragraphs above this one. Legally if the guy you just cutoff hits you it is his fault but don’t be so fucking careless with your and other peoples lives. It is better to slow down and get behind someone to get to your exit rather then speed up and try to get ahead of them just so you have to slam on the brakes to make it in time. One will get you home safe and one will get you dead. (if you are one of the people I am complaining about I actually would prefer you were dead then the roads would be safer for me)

Home

Advertisements

MY FUCKING JOB!!!

Posted in Rants on January 12, 2010 by chipmcgee

Now I know that most people hate their jobs so its not like I am saying anything so outrageous, but give me a few minutes to tell you how fucking stupid my bosses are.

I work in the field of SEO. My job is to get our websites to the top of a google search for our keywords.

When I started this job my department had a manager. The manager told us what to do and the owners told him what to do. The problem has been that the owners don’t know anything about SEO, but they started this company at a time when SEO was simple. Just write new pages, news and articles with lots of Keywords and you would do good.

Unfortunately for them Google has changes its search algorithm many times, so that these methods are not nearly enough to get you to the top.

2 years ago my manager quit to go work for another company, and instead of making me ( I am the most experienced here) or getting someone else to do the job they decided to manage us themselves, so instead of having 1 manager I have 3 and they never agree on anything.

So after 2 years of not getting any lasting results they decided to hire an SEO expert. In 3 short weeks this guy got us from page 8 to number 2 on a google search. But apparently that was not good enough for the bosses.

He went to the bosses and asked for new computers for us and he wanted to fire one of the 3 people in my department because she is not suited for this job, and she spends most of her time working on freelance projects and not on her work here.

But they decided that someone who has accomplished nothing and is about as creative as a rock is more important then the SEO expert and they told him they will not make any changes. They will not hire anyone they will not fire anyone and they will not spend any money on this department, so he quit.

Now when he was here he had us doing link exchange, and link buying. He showed us how to determine if a site is good with some SEO tools available on firefox and if we determined that a site was good we were free to use the work paypal account to buy the links. That is how we went from page 8 to the 2nd position in 3 weeks.

So today I am working on link purchase and I have been told to run everything thru the bosses. So I show them 3 links I want to buy and they tell me that once a week we will have a meeting and we can discuss all links I want to buy in the meeting.

Over the last 2 years every month they tell us we are going to have meetings once or twice a week and we have never had a single meeting, so I guess my link buying and exchanging days are over.

But they are going to start asking why we are not getting any results.

I fucking hate being micro manage by 3 idiots who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

Home

My Drive Home from Work

Posted in road rage on January 5, 2010 by chipmcgee

Most days I drive to work because it is much faster then taking the bus, but I have to deal with stupid people who must have bribed an official to get their drivers license.

There has been an unwritten rule about what lane to drive in since the first cars were on the roads. If you are the slowest vehicle you should be in the right lane and if you are the fastest car then you belong in the left lane, but if you are just keeping up with the flow of traffic then you belong in the middle lane.

There I am driving on the highway in the middle lane. I like the middle lane because I am usually not the fasted driver or the slowest driver on the road so it’s the right place for me to be in. so I am driving at about 70 to 75 mph and this fucking retarded ass clown in the right lane decided for no apparent reason that he needs a change of scenery and he suddenly changes lanes, no signals no speeding up before getting in front of my, just poof suddenly in my lane and going slow.

So I have 2 choices, slam on the breaks or slam on the gas and attempt to kill him and pray I don’t get injured (the second option was more an option when I had a big ass truck)

I went with the first option and slowed down. I would have gone around him but people were flying by in the left lane and I could not safely get over now that I was slowed down to 55 in a 65 and because of how slow we were now going in the middle lane people had started going around me on the right so I could not even get over that way.

So here is the lesson I want to impart to you. Remember, people on the roads are fucktards and don’t think.

If you are going to move lanes make sure you are going as fast or faster then the person you are getting in front of. This is so they don’t have to slam on the breaks, but don’t think this is just a move to be considerate of others (god forbid) but what if that jackass you just cut off is not paying attention?

Is it worth having someone smash into you from behind because you had to move over at that very second?

Please pay more attention when you are driving or go home fill the bath with warm water, get in and slice your wrists over and over till you die.

Home

Rush Limbaugh is a Scumbag

Posted in Celebrities That Piss Me Off on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

 Before I start this rant I would just like to say I am definitely not a left wing tree hugging Hippy. I like to consider myself in the center with some slight leanings to the right. But I really hate Rush Limbaugh.

I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh 5 days a week in my car and at work, and even though I did not agree with everything he said I enjoyed his show and respected the man.

Then after years of hearing Rush Limbaugh saying that all drug users should be tossed in jail it comes out that he had been using prescription pills illegally for years.

Now I assume he does not feel that he should be in jail, so now what I hear when he talks is that you should be in jail so I can have your drugs. And I don’t understand how people who claim to be intelligent can listen and respect his opinion.

Home

ObamaCare

Posted in Politics on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

All I can say is that even though I do believe in socialized healthcare, what President Obama is proposing is an atrocity that will only cost us all a large chunk of change in new Taxes.

Maybe someone should tell him that we would not need a new healthcare system if they would go and find all the mismanagement and misspending that has been going on by the government with the taxes we are already paying and maybe they can even lower or taxes and still have enough to run a well organised government.

Home

Things I Hate

Posted in Rants on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

I have been told I have a very bad and very short temper, because I am always yelling and getting into arguments.

I just think I have a low tolerance for dickheads. Oh before I go any further you should know in this blog I will rant about all the things in my day to day goings on that piss me off and I will use the same language that I use when this events take place so if you are offended by the word FUCK, CUNT, PISS, DICK, Shit and many other “Bad Words” then this is NOT the blog for you.

Every day I see people walking around with an “I AM THE WORLDS MOST AMAZING” attitude when in reality they are some of the biggest dicks in the world.

Just because you have enough money to afford a Mercedes does not mean you are a great person it just means you can afford an over priced car.

So every time I get angry I am going to blog about it instead of throwing things at the offenders (usually from my car)( no seriously, I used to keep my backseat loaded with plastic and glass bottles and if you pissed me off on the road I would speed past you, get in front of you and toss a bottle into the air. Maybe it would hit you and maybe it would not.)

Ok fine after reading that you think I am a maniac and for the most part you are probably right, but I know how to drive, I can wait in line and I don’t use my cell phone in crowded places.

HOME

Parking Lot at Work

Posted in Rants on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

So, I just went outside for a smoke with some people I work with(yes I know smoking is unhealthy but I don’t smoke anymore I just went out with them and this is my fucking blog about the things I hate. If you hate smoking so much you feel the need to leave me a comment about it make your own anti smoking blog and leave me alone)

Anyway, in the area I work there is not much parking, but next to my work is a building with a parking lot. The parking lot is not very big and if someone does not pull the car in all the way it can block the entire lot.

The parking lot goes around the building in a u shape and is a one way. The arrows are painted on the ground and yet people still insist on leaving thru the exit.

So what you get is one schmuck who wants to go out the entrance and goes head to head with a car coming into the parking lot.

I just spent 5 minutes watching this guy refuse to turn his car around because he insisted on leaving his way and would not listen to anyone.

Eventually the incoming car had to back out of the lot into traffic so this dickhead with ears could finally pull out his way.

Now this did not happen to me nor did it really anger me but what a set of balls on someone to insist on doing things there way to the point others should back out into traffic on a busy street because you can not follow a simple direction for leaving a parking lot.

If I had been the incoming car I would have killed that jerk, and I certainly never would have given into him. At the very least I would have parked my car in the entrance and gone about my business there.

Home