Archive for the Rants Category

Bong Bowl or Joint Which is the Best Way to Get High

Posted in Rants on June 8, 2010 by chipmcgee

After many years as a regular pot smoker I have heard many people say their way is best, but is any one way of smoking weed better than the other?

After more than 20 years smoking pot I have learned one thing about smoking weed and that is whatever way is most convenient for you then do it.

I personally love to smoke joints, but since weed is illegal and every time I need to get more I am running a risk of being arrested I usually use a pipe. A pipe can be put out after each hit so that when it is being passed around its not still burning. Another advantage to a pipe is that you do not have to smoke the rolling paper, so you are taking in less smoke that does nothing for you and more smoke that will get you high.

Bongs are also good but after so many years I suffer when I do a bong. There are 2 problems I have with bongs. The first is Bong Water spillage. If you spill dirty bong water on anything THROW IT AWAY!!! Its ruined. The second problem I have is that the water in the bongs cools the smoke allowing you to get more smoke inside your lungs before you feel the burn that tells you when to stop. And once you feel the burn you now have a giant hit of expanding smoke in your lungs and bam you are coughing choking and maybe even puking up on your friend’s floor.

One of the coolest ways I have smoked is from an old style keyboard vacuum. You would switch it on and hold the lighter to the bowl. Suddenly a plume of continuous smoke will sart pouring out but be careful if you hold that button for too long you will wind up killing the bowl in 3 seconds and wasting the smoke.

When I was in high school I got some clay and using a pencil made a pipe and I did not fire it in the kiln this way if the cops come it was easy to crush it into dust or with a few drops of water it becomes a ball of clay.

All in all I like the pipe the best for its convenience no need to stop and roll when you can just pack in a bud and puff away.

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Rubberneck and Die

Posted in Rants on January 31, 2010 by chipmcgee

Rubbernecking is when people slow down to check out something on the side of the road. It is usually cause by an accident or disabled car on the side of the road.

Friday I was driving to work and as soon as I got on the freeway I was stopped in traffic, which was extremely unusual for the time of day I was going to work.

After about 20 minutes we see a brinks armored truck on the side of the road, and this was the cause of the traffic Jam.

People insisted on slowing down from 65 to 35 MPH so they could check out a fucking truck with a flat tire. OOOHHHH how fucking cool is that, a flat tire.

Hey dickhead if you want to see a flat tire just call me up ill come over and stab your tire with an ice pick and you can sit in your driveway and spend all the time you want looking at your own flat you don’t need to make me late for work so you can check one out.

And today I had to go into the office to finish something up and the same fucking thing happened but it was on the other side of the road so people need to slow down even more to see something on the other side of the road

The only people that drive my road rage even higher are the morbid fuckers that think they may see a dead body at an accident.

Here is a piece of advice, unless you want to be the next one to get into a car crash and die, keep your fucking eyes on the road and drive. The internet is full of pictures of bloody bodies and car crash scenes that you can check out if you really need to see some blood.

When you approach a car on the side of the road for any reason just keep your eyes on the road and go on your way, if you were trying to go home you would not like it if I was in front of you going sloe for no reason so don’t get in front of me and slow me down, you never know the person behind you may go fucking insane and start shooting.

MY FUCKING JOB!!!

Posted in Rants on January 12, 2010 by chipmcgee

Now I know that most people hate their jobs so its not like I am saying anything so outrageous, but give me a few minutes to tell you how fucking stupid my bosses are.

I work in the field of SEO. My job is to get our websites to the top of a google search for our keywords.

When I started this job my department had a manager. The manager told us what to do and the owners told him what to do. The problem has been that the owners don’t know anything about SEO, but they started this company at a time when SEO was simple. Just write new pages, news and articles with lots of Keywords and you would do good.

Unfortunately for them Google has changes its search algorithm many times, so that these methods are not nearly enough to get you to the top.

2 years ago my manager quit to go work for another company, and instead of making me ( I am the most experienced here) or getting someone else to do the job they decided to manage us themselves, so instead of having 1 manager I have 3 and they never agree on anything.

So after 2 years of not getting any lasting results they decided to hire an SEO expert. In 3 short weeks this guy got us from page 8 to number 2 on a google search. But apparently that was not good enough for the bosses.

He went to the bosses and asked for new computers for us and he wanted to fire one of the 3 people in my department because she is not suited for this job, and she spends most of her time working on freelance projects and not on her work here.

But they decided that someone who has accomplished nothing and is about as creative as a rock is more important then the SEO expert and they told him they will not make any changes. They will not hire anyone they will not fire anyone and they will not spend any money on this department, so he quit.

Now when he was here he had us doing link exchange, and link buying. He showed us how to determine if a site is good with some SEO tools available on firefox and if we determined that a site was good we were free to use the work paypal account to buy the links. That is how we went from page 8 to the 2nd position in 3 weeks.

So today I am working on link purchase and I have been told to run everything thru the bosses. So I show them 3 links I want to buy and they tell me that once a week we will have a meeting and we can discuss all links I want to buy in the meeting.

Over the last 2 years every month they tell us we are going to have meetings once or twice a week and we have never had a single meeting, so I guess my link buying and exchanging days are over.

But they are going to start asking why we are not getting any results.

I fucking hate being micro manage by 3 idiots who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

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Things I Hate

Posted in Rants on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

I have been told I have a very bad and very short temper, because I am always yelling and getting into arguments.

I just think I have a low tolerance for dickheads. Oh before I go any further you should know in this blog I will rant about all the things in my day to day goings on that piss me off and I will use the same language that I use when this events take place so if you are offended by the word FUCK, CUNT, PISS, DICK, Shit and many other “Bad Words” then this is NOT the blog for you.

Every day I see people walking around with an “I AM THE WORLDS MOST AMAZING” attitude when in reality they are some of the biggest dicks in the world.

Just because you have enough money to afford a Mercedes does not mean you are a great person it just means you can afford an over priced car.

So every time I get angry I am going to blog about it instead of throwing things at the offenders (usually from my car)( no seriously, I used to keep my backseat loaded with plastic and glass bottles and if you pissed me off on the road I would speed past you, get in front of you and toss a bottle into the air. Maybe it would hit you and maybe it would not.)

Ok fine after reading that you think I am a maniac and for the most part you are probably right, but I know how to drive, I can wait in line and I don’t use my cell phone in crowded places.

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Parking Lot at Work

Posted in Rants on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

So, I just went outside for a smoke with some people I work with(yes I know smoking is unhealthy but I don’t smoke anymore I just went out with them and this is my fucking blog about the things I hate. If you hate smoking so much you feel the need to leave me a comment about it make your own anti smoking blog and leave me alone)

Anyway, in the area I work there is not much parking, but next to my work is a building with a parking lot. The parking lot is not very big and if someone does not pull the car in all the way it can block the entire lot.

The parking lot goes around the building in a u shape and is a one way. The arrows are painted on the ground and yet people still insist on leaving thru the exit.

So what you get is one schmuck who wants to go out the entrance and goes head to head with a car coming into the parking lot.

I just spent 5 minutes watching this guy refuse to turn his car around because he insisted on leaving his way and would not listen to anyone.

Eventually the incoming car had to back out of the lot into traffic so this dickhead with ears could finally pull out his way.

Now this did not happen to me nor did it really anger me but what a set of balls on someone to insist on doing things there way to the point others should back out into traffic on a busy street because you can not follow a simple direction for leaving a parking lot.

If I had been the incoming car I would have killed that jerk, and I certainly never would have given into him. At the very least I would have parked my car in the entrance and gone about my business there.

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