Archive for January, 2010

Rubberneck and Die

Posted in Rants on January 31, 2010 by chipmcgee

Rubbernecking is when people slow down to check out something on the side of the road. It is usually cause by an accident or disabled car on the side of the road.

Friday I was driving to work and as soon as I got on the freeway I was stopped in traffic, which was extremely unusual for the time of day I was going to work.

After about 20 minutes we see a brinks armored truck on the side of the road, and this was the cause of the traffic Jam.

People insisted on slowing down from 65 to 35 MPH so they could check out a fucking truck with a flat tire. OOOHHHH how fucking cool is that, a flat tire.

Hey dickhead if you want to see a flat tire just call me up ill come over and stab your tire with an ice pick and you can sit in your driveway and spend all the time you want looking at your own flat you don’t need to make me late for work so you can check one out.

And today I had to go into the office to finish something up and the same fucking thing happened but it was on the other side of the road so people need to slow down even more to see something on the other side of the road

The only people that drive my road rage even higher are the morbid fuckers that think they may see a dead body at an accident.

Here is a piece of advice, unless you want to be the next one to get into a car crash and die, keep your fucking eyes on the road and drive. The internet is full of pictures of bloody bodies and car crash scenes that you can check out if you really need to see some blood.

When you approach a car on the side of the road for any reason just keep your eyes on the road and go on your way, if you were trying to go home you would not like it if I was in front of you going sloe for no reason so don’t get in front of me and slow me down, you never know the person behind you may go fucking insane and start shooting.

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Passing on a Two Lane Road

Posted in road rage on January 14, 2010 by chipmcgee

I have never been a fan of crossing the lines to the other side of the road to pass someone, but sometimes you get stuck behind some old person who refuses to use the gas pedal or a large truck and just have to make that move.

My dad taught me that before you cross the lines, back off the vehicle you are trying to pass. In the case of a truck if you are right on his bumper you can not see what who is coming from the other direction. To me this just seems like common sense, but I can not tell you how often I see someone tailgating the slow moving vehicle.

Then when they change lanes they sometime find themselves with not enough room to pass because of oncoming traffic or you find yourself going slow and need to now start speeding up to make you pass. This second situation leaves you over the line for a long period of time.

By backing off the vehicle be it truck or small car, not only can you see the oncoming traffic but you now have some room to build up speed before you cross into oncoming traffic. This allows you to be on the wrong side of the road for the least amount of time making it safer for you and everyone around you.

Recently I saw a car trying to pass a buss and the driver crossed the lines blindly and the person who was behind him speed up after he crossed over leaving him no room to come back and a car was coming up fast and the driver had to go off the road on the left side to avoid killing everyone. At that point everyone slammed on the breaks and thank god no one got into an accident.

But the guy who nearly caused the accident actually got out of his car yelling at the other drivers, like it was their fault he tried to pass without looking. I was a few cars back so I did not get yelled at by this maniac, but what an asshole.

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Learn to Drive

Posted in road rage on January 13, 2010 by chipmcgee

At the exit for my home when you get off there is a crosswalk and if someone is in the crosswalk you have to stop, but we do NOT have a stop or even a yield sign. This is because where the exit meets the road there starts a new lane. So all you need to do is continue on in your own lane.

But despite the fact that no one is in that lane or could be coming into that lane people insist on stopping there and waiting for a break in traffic in a lane with NO ONE IN IT!!!!!! (Getting annoyed just thinking about it)

How fucking hard is driving that so many people around the world take lessons and tests and still can not understand some simple concepts.

When merging cars can not be side by side and once the lanes merge you should be letting the car that is ahead in.

When changing lanes USE YOUR FUCKING MIRRORS!!!!! I drive drunk so if you change lanes suddenly I will never have time to get out of the way, ok I do not drink and drive EVER but maybe the person you are cutting of does. Do not expect the people around you to be paying attention you have to do it yourself.

After using your mirrors before changing lanes give a quick turn of your head to see if a car is in your blind spot. It’s called a blind spot because you can not see it in the mirror.

THEY ARE CALLED TURNING SIGNALS… HMMM I WUNDER WHAT THEY ARE FOR??? (Fucking idiots)

You can flash your headlights at me all you want I am not moving over until after I pass the giant fucking truck in the lane next to me. I am sorry but my car will not fit under a truck, if you want to get passed me that bad maybe you should try the under the truck trick.

Oh and to you guys on motorcycles that always blame cars for their accidents, maybe you should not be going 100mpg and trying to blast between me and a car in the lane next to me. And if you are weaving in and out of traffic going fast remember, I look and them move if you were not there when I look I assume there will be no one there when I move…BAM you are dead not me.

When getting on the highway that long lane you are in is called an acceleration lane. This is so you can go from street traffic speeds to highway speeds before you pull out into traffic. If you pull in front of someone who is going 75 MPH and you are going 35 MPH see what I say about changing lanes 5 paragraphs above this one. Legally if the guy you just cutoff hits you it is his fault but don’t be so fucking careless with your and other peoples lives. It is better to slow down and get behind someone to get to your exit rather then speed up and try to get ahead of them just so you have to slam on the brakes to make it in time. One will get you home safe and one will get you dead. (if you are one of the people I am complaining about I actually would prefer you were dead then the roads would be safer for me)

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MY FUCKING JOB!!!

Posted in Rants on January 12, 2010 by chipmcgee

Now I know that most people hate their jobs so its not like I am saying anything so outrageous, but give me a few minutes to tell you how fucking stupid my bosses are.

I work in the field of SEO. My job is to get our websites to the top of a google search for our keywords.

When I started this job my department had a manager. The manager told us what to do and the owners told him what to do. The problem has been that the owners don’t know anything about SEO, but they started this company at a time when SEO was simple. Just write new pages, news and articles with lots of Keywords and you would do good.

Unfortunately for them Google has changes its search algorithm many times, so that these methods are not nearly enough to get you to the top.

2 years ago my manager quit to go work for another company, and instead of making me ( I am the most experienced here) or getting someone else to do the job they decided to manage us themselves, so instead of having 1 manager I have 3 and they never agree on anything.

So after 2 years of not getting any lasting results they decided to hire an SEO expert. In 3 short weeks this guy got us from page 8 to number 2 on a google search. But apparently that was not good enough for the bosses.

He went to the bosses and asked for new computers for us and he wanted to fire one of the 3 people in my department because she is not suited for this job, and she spends most of her time working on freelance projects and not on her work here.

But they decided that someone who has accomplished nothing and is about as creative as a rock is more important then the SEO expert and they told him they will not make any changes. They will not hire anyone they will not fire anyone and they will not spend any money on this department, so he quit.

Now when he was here he had us doing link exchange, and link buying. He showed us how to determine if a site is good with some SEO tools available on firefox and if we determined that a site was good we were free to use the work paypal account to buy the links. That is how we went from page 8 to the 2nd position in 3 weeks.

So today I am working on link purchase and I have been told to run everything thru the bosses. So I show them 3 links I want to buy and they tell me that once a week we will have a meeting and we can discuss all links I want to buy in the meeting.

Over the last 2 years every month they tell us we are going to have meetings once or twice a week and we have never had a single meeting, so I guess my link buying and exchanging days are over.

But they are going to start asking why we are not getting any results.

I fucking hate being micro manage by 3 idiots who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

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My Drive Home from Work

Posted in road rage on January 5, 2010 by chipmcgee

Most days I drive to work because it is much faster then taking the bus, but I have to deal with stupid people who must have bribed an official to get their drivers license.

There has been an unwritten rule about what lane to drive in since the first cars were on the roads. If you are the slowest vehicle you should be in the right lane and if you are the fastest car then you belong in the left lane, but if you are just keeping up with the flow of traffic then you belong in the middle lane.

There I am driving on the highway in the middle lane. I like the middle lane because I am usually not the fasted driver or the slowest driver on the road so it’s the right place for me to be in. so I am driving at about 70 to 75 mph and this fucking retarded ass clown in the right lane decided for no apparent reason that he needs a change of scenery and he suddenly changes lanes, no signals no speeding up before getting in front of my, just poof suddenly in my lane and going slow.

So I have 2 choices, slam on the breaks or slam on the gas and attempt to kill him and pray I don’t get injured (the second option was more an option when I had a big ass truck)

I went with the first option and slowed down. I would have gone around him but people were flying by in the left lane and I could not safely get over now that I was slowed down to 55 in a 65 and because of how slow we were now going in the middle lane people had started going around me on the right so I could not even get over that way.

So here is the lesson I want to impart to you. Remember, people on the roads are fucktards and don’t think.

If you are going to move lanes make sure you are going as fast or faster then the person you are getting in front of. This is so they don’t have to slam on the breaks, but don’t think this is just a move to be considerate of others (god forbid) but what if that jackass you just cut off is not paying attention?

Is it worth having someone smash into you from behind because you had to move over at that very second?

Please pay more attention when you are driving or go home fill the bath with warm water, get in and slice your wrists over and over till you die.

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Rush Limbaugh is a Scumbag

Posted in Celebrities That Piss Me Off on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

 Before I start this rant I would just like to say I am definitely not a left wing tree hugging Hippy. I like to consider myself in the center with some slight leanings to the right. But I really hate Rush Limbaugh.

I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh 5 days a week in my car and at work, and even though I did not agree with everything he said I enjoyed his show and respected the man.

Then after years of hearing Rush Limbaugh saying that all drug users should be tossed in jail it comes out that he had been using prescription pills illegally for years.

Now I assume he does not feel that he should be in jail, so now what I hear when he talks is that you should be in jail so I can have your drugs. And I don’t understand how people who claim to be intelligent can listen and respect his opinion.

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ObamaCare

Posted in Politics on January 4, 2010 by chipmcgee

All I can say is that even though I do believe in socialized healthcare, what President Obama is proposing is an atrocity that will only cost us all a large chunk of change in new Taxes.

Maybe someone should tell him that we would not need a new healthcare system if they would go and find all the mismanagement and misspending that has been going on by the government with the taxes we are already paying and maybe they can even lower or taxes and still have enough to run a well organised government.

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